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sound
is her name

spoken
by the march of languid blinks
in accord, with dreams
descending
as the darkness folds across me
to break my solemn countenance
and nothing fades
because

colour
is her eyes

drawn
forever in me,
tied with elegance
across all dreams
that I will always hold to
as a granted wish
in clear knowledge that,

taste
is her lips

locked
in their circumference
of breath in breath entwined
by movement like the fall of leaves
that gently break
the icy surface of the world
in which I lie awake
enough to feel

touch
is her embrace

held
closer just to hear her heart
that calls me to her arms
locked gently
in reflection with my thoughts
that now withstand attrition of
closed eyes, each

breath
is her closeness

here
in the company of smiles
born at the thought of her whisper
and I will wait for dawn longer
for she is the light
I wish so much
that morning is another compliment
to her sweet face
so near

as I wake

and know


beauty
is her -
in every form
Written for Daria, at 3.05am Sunday morning. While dueling with sleep and listening to a song she likes
:) (Smile)
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:iconpoetic-abortion:
poetic-abortion Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2004
very very beautiful.
Reply
:iconjulyshelied:
julyshelied Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2004
and beauty is your writing

I love it
Reply
:iconsimpleflaw:
SimpleFlaw Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2004
Welcome to Carly's favourites :boogie:
Reply
:iconspaddy:
spaddy Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2004
an elgant beautiful piece
Reply
:iconacidicpyxie:
acidicpyxie Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2004
wow I found that while I read this.....that in between the grinning I caught myself holding my breath. the way you've chosen to phrase the words, the breaking up of the stanzas with the short lines....I love that. This is really a wonderful piece of writing. Sorry I don't have something more interesting to say but i'm not really qualified to critique or whatnot lol
Reply
:iconignite:
ignite Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2003  Professional Artist
this fucking blew me away.
Reply
:icondeadsumo:
deadsumo Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2002  Professional Photographer
whos the girl? she must be quite something! great imagery thief :D (Big Grin) cya
Reply
:iconsiedhr:
siedhr Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2002  Student Writer
what a beautiful poem, delicate yet passionate. she's a lucky girl.:) (Smile) it is intimate, but it does not give the reader the sensation of voyeurism.
I love the simplicity, the way the stanzas connect, the whole just flows gently, yes i believe gentleness is the best way I could describe this poem.
"and I will wait for dawn longer
for she is the light"
a most eloquent way to say those sadly worn out words(in poetry that is) I love you. the way time changes when the right person is by your side.
+fav
and devwatch.
Reply
:icontitania:
titania Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2002
this is genuine, that's what makes it wonderful.

Titania
Reply
:icongaston:
gaston Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2002
.
how wonderful this poetry is.
the eloquence flows from line to line and appropriately delivers a romantic aura involving all five senses - redefined and transcended from a mere biological function to the most perfect manifestation of life in your eyes - her.

most people can create romantic poetry;
yet only a few can create romantic poetry that goes beyond a mere expression of cheesy sentiments and superficial tingling of the senses. those few brilliant poets can transform the strange manifestation of romance into something profound, invigorating, and just wonderfully refreshing that a reader comes to long for similar sentiments the poet expresses.

this is most certainly a hasty generalization, but i think you're one of 'em poets.

thanks for sharing this beautiful work.

peace.
+g

Reply
:iconakashka:
akashka Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2002  Hobbyist
man how come i've never landed on ur page before ? im upset... this is sweet and beautifull and all the words that can express this unspeakable feeling...
Reply
:iconakashka:
akashka Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2002  Hobbyist
... ! ... ! ... !
Reply
:iconraphi-kun:
raphi-kun Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2002
sorry, +fav
Reply
:iconraphi-kun:
raphi-kun Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2002
As always, your words are kinda well chosen and full of expression. One must be blind who don't see your talented hands. You give the words always such a nice "order" that it expresses the right things on the right places, you're able to create beautiful pictures with words. I hope you understand what I try to express...

My dev-watch is "out of order" so I haven't noticed this deviation! O_o
Reply
:icondefourthson:
defourthson Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2002
Does anyone ever say anything bad about your stuff. It's great stuff, if you wanted me to I could look for bad things but hey, unless your someone who just likes to see the good I will just give the praise.
Reply
:iconsquidgeon:
squidgeon Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2002
Ahhhh...finally a love poem that doesn't make me want to choke on my vomit while gouging out my eyeballs with sandpaper.
tmpst24myst said:
"This in so many words that I cannot find, is excellence. From starvation for personal understanding, I will have to leave it at that.

I love reading your love and that is why I read it, otherwise I wouldn't."

...me love skeptic but appreciate both pretty birds and bird watchers.

--
"Insert short, witty saying with kooly flashy pictures."
Reply
:icondr-d:
dr-d Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2002
~epibole said: 'It's very intimate - almost so much so that I feel intrusive for even commenting.'
totally agree.
All I will say is that I love the way each stanza is separated by those little praises. 'Colour is her eyes', 'Touch is her embrace', etc. These seem to draw me deeper into the piece, like little whispers of a deeper meaning to the stanzas it is between. Yet it is well written enough that those lines don't even need to be there. If it is read without them, it is still amazing. It can also be read as if they are just another stanza, continuing on from the last, moving forward into the next. But it makes it perfect to have them there, as those little whispers, as though the previous stanza brings on this thought, but doesn't interrupt the flow of thought of the larger stanzas.

Reply
:iconmoonlight-sonata:
moonlight-sonata Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2002
wonderful. just wonderful.
Reply
:iconrajivmathur:
rajivmathur Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2002
well written, fine work!
Reply
:iconsmalltalk:
smalltalk Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2002   Writer
locked
in their circumference
of breath in breath entwined
by movement like the fall of leaves
that gently break
the icy surface of the world
in which I lie awake
enough to feel

I'm especially impressed by this passages, so many thoughts uninterrupted, very nice.
Reply
:iconindustreal:
industreal Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2002
Blah! Jawdrop How do you do it? This is perfect! +favlove

Worship ;) (Wink)
Reply
:iconteop:
teop Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2002
interesting style, i think the short fragments contrasting with the intermittent longer lines makes for a good parallel to the rhythm of breathing in love that you refer to.. actually it is a good parallel for love in general. love sometimes comes in bursts and sometimes it engulfs.. and sometimes it floods your heart like the morning light surprises your eyes.
Reply
:icon-darkwords-:
-darkwords- Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2002
BRILLIANT
even this word fails to justify this pieces power
Reply
:iconkrissie:
krissie Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2002   General Artist
This is really beautiful. That's pretty much all I can say at this point... You paint amazing pictures with your words - of emotions and feelings. Thanks for sharing them.
Reply
:iconswallowtail:
swallowtail Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2002
beautiful
Reply
:iconunglitteringold:
unglitteringold Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2002
Awe! That's so incredibly sweet! Great poem, awesome stuff!
Reply
:icontmpst24myst:
tmpst24myst Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2002  Student Writer
I don't generally have anything to offer such outstanding work and this time hasn't changed my lack of expression in which, this deserves. Romantic poems are against my policy to read, simply because I can't write them. Jealousy takes over and loneliness interfere's and sways any constructive thought, other than I am not with perfect partner like so many have found.

This in so many words that I cannot find, is excellence. From starvation for personal understanding, I will have to leave it at that.

I love reading your love and that is why I read it, otherwise I wouldn't.

Black Rose
Reply
:icontechnodepth:
technodepth Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2002
Floating Immensely? So much more than that.....

Thankyou, Roman, this is absolutely soul-gripping..... :) (Smile) I don't know what to say.

I love this poem....... love you, in every form..... =P (Razz)

Have I told you lately how ecstatic you make me feel, my perfect spook?



Reply
:iconbetween-balance:
between-balance Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2002
oh shit man..
+fav
this was increibdle..
:) (Smile)
Reply
:iconepibole:
epibole Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2002
It's very intimate - almost so much so that I feel intrusive for even commenting. Still, it's hard to resist. I liked it very much. The slow, quiet imagery suits the mood and tone perfectly. You've separated it into varied stanzas yet linked them all very effectively. It reads well.

locked
in their circumference
of breath in breath entwined
by movement like the fall of leaves
that gently break
the icy surface of the world
in which I lie awake
enough to feel

I don't know Daria but something tells me she'll appreciate this immensely :) (Smile)

Reply
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